How To Make Friends
by Ingrid Griggs
"Believe it or not....... You can make more friends in a shorter time by becoming interested in other people rather than trying to get other people interested in you. Sit back and think about it! Why should people be interested in you, unless you are first interested in them?"
Making friends can be difficult, especially these days with so many peer pressures. You're the odd one out if your clothes are different, your hair is the wrong cut or colour, your shoes are bought on a budget and don't display the designer label. Maybe you happen to enjoy listening to the wrong kind of music, your folks are not as trendy as they should be, you don't have a credit card, or you weren't pre approved online for that nifty colour coded credit card but your friends were. Not to mention... What!.... You don't do drugs? etc....etc...
Let me tell you a secret!
If you want to develop a more pleasing personality and make friends.......... become genuinely interested in other people. Show kindness........ you may be wearing the latest designer label clothes, the hottest brand shoes, the coolest jewelry, and got online approval for that credit card but if you display sourness and selfishness you'll have a battle ahead of you to make good friends.
Smile.....smile and continue to smile. It costs nothing, enriches those who receive it, happens in a flash but the memory lasts forever, it creates happiness in the home and classroom. A smile can not be bought, begged or borrowed, it comes from the heart. If you want other people to like you....... make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely!
Some people thrive on arguments, it gives them a sour disposition and creates a depressing atmosphere around them. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. If you are wrong admit it quickly and apologize. If the other person continues in an argumentative manner, excuse yourself and walk away. Don't bite..... as the saying goes.
Doing the wrong thing!
Choose your friends carefully. If others try to persuade you to smoke, take illicit drugs, steal credit cards, gamble, fight etc... dare to say NO. Doing the wrong thing is the quickest way to lose friends.... honest, good and upright friends. Stay on the right track and be a respected citizen with a sincere reputation. Remain on the right side of the law and you won't need that lawyer! Deep down in your heart you know what is right and good. You know when to say 'no' and you know when its time to walk away.
Being mentally strong is not always easy but let me assure you..... the more you practice it the easier it becomes. Soon those who thought they were trendy will want to dress like you, talk like you and be with you because you have a personality which is different. People like being different! Think about it.... if you dressed and acted like 10 million other people, are you different? NO........ So be yourself and don't give in to those horrifying peer pressures.
The Love of Money!
Besides peer pressure, one other important thing in this world drags many friendships down and that is the love of money. Nothing wrong with earning lots of money but be wise with the way you use it such as occasionally donating some to a good cause such as money to India, Africa or an area which has been affected by cyclones, drought, floods, earthquakes etc. Most people don't earn a lot of money and learn to be content with their health, food, clothes and a roof over their head. Some people get so obsessed with making the big buck they now scan the Internet for online money making adventures. "I Need Money" and I need it now they'll scream and all they'll manage to do is get themselves further into debt. Making money from home or making money online can be done but sometimes it is better to work for a boss and receive regular pay than scourer the Internet for the next online money making scheme, staring at the PC and wasting time instead of spending it with friends and family. Remember.... when the big bucks dry up, you'll soon know who your true friends are.
It is dangerous to follow a crowd. Crowds get lost in even bigger crowds. By being an individual with your own personality you can achieve the very best experiences in your life. You may not ever have many friends but let me tell you that it is better to have one good friend than ten dishonest friends who will stab you in the back at the very first opportunity that arises. You're treading on dangerous ground if you mix with the wrong type of 'friends'.
Other tips to make friends
Having a hard time making friends? Sometimes it can be difficult to make friends but this is not a skill that you can't improve. In fact, once you start making a friend or two, it can actually be fun and you will enjoy your friendships more and more. The key to making friends is to be a friendly person yourself and of course being a genuine or truthful person. The more you practice truthfulness the better you become at making lasting friendships. Just remember if you lie to a person and you are found out you will loose instant respect or your friendship with that person.
Smile. You will find that it is very contagious, make sure the smile you give is a genuine smile to the other person. Address the person by his or her name. This will show that you're interested in them and they will feel more comfortable around you. Be a genuine person in every aspect. People are naturally attracted to someone who is sincere about who they are.
A relaxed attitude will also help to prevent any stress that person may be feeling. With that relaxed attitude be yourself, don't pretend to be something you are not. Be a good listener and only ask questions that will help the other person to talk to you.
To start with, don't ask questions that are too personal; think about questions or subjects that could be of mutual interest. Make sure to build a common ground understanding, such as interests or hobbies or even eternal issues.
Respect the differences of opinion that may occur and don't argue with your friends, not arguing will make your friendships more exciting. Be open-minded and above all objective. Make sure your compliments are genuine and use them to improve your bonding. Your new friend will appreciate positive feedback from you.
Try to keep in touch with them; be careful not to visit them to often unless they call for you more. Include them in what you are doing and invite them to have fun with you and other friends.
Well that's it! Enjoy your new friendships by having fun together and remember..... don't get too serious!